Sway

by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman

Rational or Irrational?

Most of us think of ourselves as rational; however, we’re much more prone to irrational behavior than we realize. We’re all susceptible to the irresistible pull of irrational behavior.

Loss is more painful than the pleasure of gain

Loss aversion is our tendency to go to great lengths to avoid possible losses. We experience the pain associated with a loss much more vividly than we do the joy of experiencing a gain. For no apparent logical reason, we overreact to perceived losses.

The more meaningful a potential loss is, the more loss averse we become. In other words, the more there is on the line, the easier it is to get swept into an irrational decision.

Long term planning to overcome the fear of loss

Our natural tendency to avoid the pain of loss is most likely to distort our thinking when we place too much importance on short-term goals. When we adopt the long view, on the other hand, immediate potential losses don’t seem as menacing. Having a long-term plan is the key to dealing with our fear of loss. In case of investing, the challenge is not to allow short-term fluctuations to get in the way of one’s long-term plan.

Irrational commitment

We’ve all experienced the pervasive pull of commitment in some form or another; whether we’ve invested our time and money in a particular project or poured our energy into a doomed relationship, it’s difficult to let go even when things clearly aren’t working. As difficult as it can be to admit defeat, however, staying the course simply because of a past commitment hurts us in the long run.

How to avoid irrational commitment

When we find ourselves unsure about whether or not to continue a particular approach, it’s useful to ask, “If I were just arriving on the scene and were given the choice to either jump into this project as it stands now or pass on it, would I choose to jump in?” If the answer is no, then chances are we’ve been swayed by the hidden force of commitment. Making a clean break might feel uncomfortable, but it could be in our best interest.

Value attribution

Value attribution is our inclination to imbue a person or thing with certain qualities based on initial perceived value rather than objective data. Diagnosis bias is our blindness to all evidence that contradicts our initial assessment of a person or situation.

When we encounter a new object, person, or situation, the value we assign to it shapes our further perception of it, whether it’s our dismissal of a curiously inexpensive antique we find at a flea market or our admiration of a high-priced designer bag in a chic boutique. Our propensity is to label people, ideas, or things based on our initial opinions of them—and our inability to reconsider those judgments once we’ve made them.

We are overly confident in our predictive abilities and overly optimistic about the future.

Be mindful and observe things for what they are, not just for what they appear to be. You have to be prepared to accept that your initial impressions might be wrong. Simply realizing that we’re making judgments based on assumptions about a situation or a person’s value can free us from this sway.

Remain flexible and examine things from different perspectives. Keep evaluations tentative instead of certain; learn to be comfortable with complex, sometimes contradictory information, and take your time to consider things from different angles before coming to a conclusion. It can be as straightforward as coming up with a kind of self-imposed “waiting period” before making a diagnostic judgment.

Labels

If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to work for a boss who values and believes in you, you’ll know that you tend to rise to meet the high expectations set for you. On the other hand, there’s nothing that will make you feel more incompetent and demoralized than a supervisor who is convinced you don’t have what it takes. When we are labeled, explained psychologist Franz Epting, “it’s easy to start acting it out as a way of being in the world.” We fit into the mold created by the diagnosis.

Negative feelings about old age, in other words, can actually make people physically age faster.

Psychology and physiology are inextricably connected in ways that no one imagined.

Fairness

We have a deep-rooted belief in fairness and we’ll go to great lengths to defend it. 

When it comes to fairness, it’s the process, not the outcome, that causes us to react irrationally. How we are treated—the fairness of the procedure—has as much to do with our satisfaction as the ultimate outcome.

We don’t expect a computer to be fair—but we do expect people to be.

When we make decisions or take actions that will affect others, keeping them involved will help ensure that they feel the process is fair. It’s important to keep others apprised of our decision-making process—to communicate what we’re thinking.

Weigh things objectively and not succumb to emotional maneuvers or moral judgments; eg. Would I rather achieve my goals or teach the other person a lesson?

Anticipation is more pleasurable than the outcome

The prospect of a reward excites the brain’s pleasure center even more than the attainment of the reward itself.

Group-think

Something strange happens when you put people in groups. They take on new roles, form “in group” alliances, get swept up by extreme stances, and succumb to peer pressure. In a group setting, the reasonableness of our thinking can be distorted and compromised.

Blocking or dissenting a majority opinion of a group might not be pleasant—for anyone involved—but it’s a necessary component of healthy group dynamics—one that can literally save lives.

In group situations, the presence of a blocker can actually make the decision-making process more rational and less likely to go off the tracks. It gives us a new appreciation for someone who tends to play “devil’s advocate.” 

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Disclaimer: The key points of the book presented here are not a substitute for reading the book. To get the entire holistic message the author has offered requires reading the book.

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